From the acclaimed author of Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation and I Am Not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet, an incisive exploration of why young women wear body-revealing outfits and share sexy selfies and what these choices say about our toxic, sexist culture. MAY 2025.
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The Sexy Selfie Nation Workbook is chock-full of prompts, guidance on how to talk about bodily autonomy, and conversation starters for young women, parents, and educators to complete by themselves or in inter-generational dialogue.
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What is Sexy Selfie Nation about?
Chances are that you are getting it all wrong.
In this eye-opening new work, slut-shaming expert Leora Tanenbaum explains that when we criticize young women for wearing body-revealing outfits and sharing sexy selfies, we are losing the plot.
The problem is not with the actions young women take but with the toxic, sexist conditions they are responding to.
Young people are sick of being held responsible for others’ inability to keep their eyes off their bodies. They explain that most of the time, they aren’t even trying to sexualize themselves—and, when they do, they are taking control over their bodily autonomy and standing up for themselves.
Tanenbaum demonstrates that “sexy” does not mean “inviting sex,” and that when young women and nonbinary people embrace a sexualized aesthetic or post sexy pictures, they do so on their own terms.
In choosing to wear body-revealing clothing and posting sexy selfies, young people are taking a stand for themselves and against three pillars of nonconsensual sexualization that shape their daily lives:
- Gendered dress codes, which allow teachers and administrators to scrutinize and comment on girls’ bodies;
- Nonconsensual sharing of intimate images (“revenge porn” and “deepfakes”), which portray girls and women as sexual objects deserving of public humiliation;
- The aftermath of sexual harassment and assault, when victims are told—still today, even after #MeToo—that they were “asking for it.”
There’s nothing wrong with taking and sharing intimate pictures. There’s nothing wrong with feeling good about one’s body. Everyone should be able to stand up for themselves, experience a sense of bodily autonomy, and shape and share their image on their own terms.
Advance Praise
"Leora Tanenbaum’s gift is speaking directly to young women without judgment or shame about the trickiest of topics—objectification, sexual agency, bodily autonomy--and what and where those lines might be. Sexy Selfie Nation is an indispensable guide to helping them define and make their choices in a culture that sexualizes them from childhood and then blames them when they fight back."
— Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex
"In Sexy Selfie Nation, Leora Tanenbaum deftly wades into the objectification of young women’s bodies on social media and the conditions that produce it. Spoiler alert: the problem is not young women posting selfies! People want easy answers, but Tanenbaum considers complex questions: Is the sexy selfie an act of empowerment? Is it a clap back? Is it an imperfect response to an imperfect system? This is a must-read for anyone figuring out how to understand this new moment and how to navigate it as a parent or a young person."
— Samhita Mukhopadhyay, author of The Myth of Making It and former executive editor of Teen Vogue
"Finally, teen girls get the respect they deserve from someone who truly cares. In Sexy Selfie Nation, Leora Tanenbaum acts as a mediator between these girls and their disapproving adults, offering impressive empathy to both sides. This book is an essential account of what teens are thinking when they show off their bodies, and a reminder that a safer, shame-free world is possible."
— Nona Willis Aronowitz, author of Bad Sex and former sex columnist for Teen Vogue
"A must-read for young women and their parents. Tanenbaum brings an essential feminist lens to the crisis in youth mental health, diagnosing systemic causes while remaining fiercely respectful and protective of young people doing their best in a sexist, screwed up world."
— Alexandra Brodsky, author of Sexual Justice
"A crucial book for this moment. Young people and those who care for them need to read this book! We need to stop criminalizing and shaming kids and find ways to respect, support, and empower them as they come of age in their digital world."
— Devorah Heitner, PhD, author of Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World
"Leora Tanenbaum called out 'slut-shaming' 25 years ago. She was right then, and she’s right today. The book's most important insight is that when girls and women decide to stand up for themselves, this decision can come at a cost. Tanenbaum explains this challenge and offers advice for girls and women, mothers and fathers, on how to handle the sexist culture that remains a threat to girls and women everywhere. Read this book, and then buy another copy for the young person in your life."
— Karen Hinton, author of Penis Politics: A Memoir of Women, Men, and Power
"Looking at women’s engagements with sexy clothing, racy selfies, and OnlyFans accounts, Leora Tanenbaum explains in this thoughtful, sensitive, and highly captivating book the benefits and dangers of sexualizing women’s bodies. Sexy Selfie Nation is a timely must-read to all those who want to understand the increasingly complicated reality where sex and sexuality can be empowering and a feminist means of resistance, while also pointing to the social dangers these practices entail."
— Einav Rabinovitch-Fox, PhD, author of Dressed for Freedom: The Fashionable Politics of American Feminism
"The diversity of expertise included, centering of survivors, and foregrounding of nuance make this book an educational and engaging read for anyone trying to make sense of the paradoxical pressures placed on women expected to be 'sexy, just not slutty.'”
— Carrie Goldberg, victims' rights lawyer and author of
Nobody's Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls
"Sexy Selfie Nation presents a nuanced understanding of a confusing (to older adults) set of phenomena, helping readers see that 'sexy selfies can sometimes be empowering for individual women' but also that 'sexy selfies can backfire against women as a class of people' and that while the 'monetization of sexy selfies is rewarding for some,' it's also 'risky for all.' I could not put this book down and highlighted probably ever other sentence. 'Remember that sexuality is not the problem; violation of consent is the problem.' One of this year's must-reads."
— Jennifer S. Hirsch, PhD, coauthor of Sexual Citizens: Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus
"Anyone who picks up this book will walk away with a clear sense of how complicated it is to walk the world in a woman's body—and even more so as each day passes. Best of all, Tanenbaum has practical solutions and advice that will cross generations. This is a book for anyone who cares about women and girls—which is to say, this is a book for everyone."
— Donna Freitas, author of Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention and Consent on Campus: A Manifesto
If you like cultural criticism that supports women of all identities, then you'll love Sexy Selfie Nation. Pre-order your copy today.